Nearly everyone has had experiences that impact their body in a negative way. It could be something as clear and identifiable as abuse or sexual assault, or as subtle as the pictures in fashion magazines or words in the schoolyard. You may be plagued with memories, or you may not recognize that anything happened. Either way, the effects are “stored” in your body, and your body needs healing.
[Traumatized] patients … are [repeatedly] continuing the action, or rather the attempt at action, which began when the thing happened, and they exhaust themselves in these everlasting recommencements. ~ Pierre Janet
Your symptoms may show up only in intimate situations, and they may also be generalized into your everyday life.
In everyday situations you may experience anxiety, shame, guilt, avoidance, compulsion, addiction, low self-esteem, dissociation or “episodes”, poor boundaries, communication problems, distrust, fear of commitment, wanting to control, or any number of other unwanted feelings or difficulties. You may experience physical symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome, nervous stomach, chronic pain or other conditions. Healing the body from its past often brings many positive changes to all areas of life.
In sexual situations, instead of being confidently “in the moment” and open to the experience, you miss out on the pleasure that you should be enjoying. You may feel anxious, unfocused, weak, numb, fearful, paralyzed, unable to speak your desires, experience pain, or any number of other things. You might experience physical symptoms such as shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, tightness in your throat or stomach, and the list goes on. Perhaps you simply avoid sexual situations or have lost interest in sex altogether.
It doesn’t have to be that way. You have a choice.
Many people choose to continue suffering – living with the anxiety, fear, shame, avoidance, loneliness, pain, or whatever it is. For those people, the status quo may be unpleasant but it’s familiar and somehow more comfortable than starting on a healing journey. Quite simply, they believe finding a solution will be worse than the problem, or the risk of trying isn’t worth the potential reward of improvement. They’re not ready yet. But you are.
Healing is about changing your body’s reactions. I use a variety of techniques to help your body “unlearn” its current patterns and learn new responses. I help you do things you haven’t been able to do on your own. (If you could do them on your own, you’d have done them a long time ago and healed yourself.)
In a safe and supportive environment, I gently challenge and shift your status quo. I introduce you to new experiences, ideas and messages, which in time will take the power away from your past and put it into your present where it belongs. My basic approach to healing is like eating a meal – take a manageable bite, chew adequately, and swallow; the rest happens automatically. Or to think of it another way, it’s like starting a physical fitness program – practice working to your limit, and in time your limit will increase.
Many people have a combination of overactive and underactive responses, and sometimes experience both simultaneously.
To reduce your overactive responses, I (1) create a controlled situation that slightly triggers your body’s reaction, (2) interrupt the escalation and then (3) provide a positive experience or result. In time, your body becomes less reactive to the triggering situations, and you learn to more fully engage and respond to your desires, and experience your body as the source of pleasure it’s meant to be.
If you have underactive responses, I (1) create a safe and controlled situation that presents an appropriate stimulus, (2) guide your attention to your body, feelings and thoughts, and then (3) explore any blockages to your experience. With practice, your body becomes more responsive, receptive and able to feel pleasure.
In daily life it’s rather difficult to shape situations to be manageable or slow them down enough to really taste them. I can help you expand your comfort zone so you can handle a wider variety of situations without feeling overwhelmed or missing out on the experience.
If you have scars from surgery or injury of any kind, I can also provide scar tissue remediation to help reduce pain and increase mobility. Left untreated, scars can grow and develop painful adhesions. With appropriate massage and/or pelvic release, you can have more pleasure and less pain and distraction, and experience your sexuality more fully.
Use the inquiry form below to ask any questions or request your introductory consultation.